Faith Han

           In hindsight, if he hadn’t just recently turned 17 and hit the peak of his paranoid state of mind, he probably wouldn’t have done that. Looking into and reading the contents of someone’s personal diary without their consent was wrong by Mak’s standards, but something about it stuck out to him as odd, besides the fact that he hadn’t wanted to be there in the first place. His father had dragged him out of the comforts of his room to this stupid island for a breath of fresh air that he didn’t want, and now the rest of his family wanted to spend the remaining hours of the day walking on the trails. Mak unwillingly had to comply to the majority vote and had been trailing behind his family as they eagerly looked around. He’d been so distracted by his phone and his brooding thoughts, however, that when he looked up, he found himself by the riverside under the Triborough Bridge that they had crossed to get here.

           How he found the diary was odd, and it seemed more unlikely the more he thought about it. Mak had just got a call from his older brother, who had not only chastised him for being careless, but for sending their father into a panic over losing him. He felt a twinge of guilt for a moment, only to be rolled over by his original begrudging mood. After alerting his family of his location, his father had spoken up, telling him to follow the river’s current and to keep walking down the path. It was by chance that in that direction, was a certain spot by the water that his father wanted to show his family and have their packed dinner. Mak apologized for wandering off before hanging up, but when he did, he wasn’t so sure he was sorry. After all, he never wanted to come back here in the first place.

           He let out the most unwilling sigh and was about to follow the current when something shimmered in the corner of his eye. Where he found it was odd, as it was right by the shoreline, wedged between the rocks, yet it wasn’t the slightest bit wet. What was wrapped around it was odd, as it looked like shiny stone should have easily come clean off the delicate string. But what was in it was the most curious, as most of the pages weren’t even filled in completely. The diary was stuffed with the most random things: short shoelaces, pressed flowers, and at the very heart of the little book was a postcard that said “Straight from the Heart of Queens” in bold letters. He was about to flip it to the other side when the diary snapped shut and was yanked from his grip by a pair of small hands.

           “Aaand thank you, for finding my precious book! I’ll take that, thanks!”, the little girl said, voice dripping with sarcasm, causing Mak’s initial surprise to fade to a scowl on his face.

           “If it’s so precious, then why did I find it halfway into the river?”, he growled.

           The girl’s eye twitched, looking ready to pipe out a retort in response, when she suddenly paused, face twisting in confusion.

           “…Huh. I’m not so sure either. I didn’t even know there was a second bridge…,” she slowly muttered as she looked to the left and then up at the bridge above them. “…And I’m not so sure how I got out here either…”. A few seconds of silence passed, leaving them both in mild confusion, until her face lit up like a candle. “But that’s not important! What’s important is the now and what’s to come. That’s what my ma always said. I’m 10-years-old and my name’s Suha. What’s yours?”

           With a slight twinge, Mak turned away, already feeling his mood souring. “Mak,” he glowered, and started trudging away, only to feel another hand pulling at his.

           “Hey hey hey, hold on Mr. Mak. I need a favor. Can you help me with something real quick?”

           “Absolutely not. Now let go,” he immediately shot back, already turning away again.

           “Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeease???”, she shrilled as she only held on tighter. “I don’t have a lot of time and no one else can help me.”

           “Not with that attitude you won’t,” he growled, growing increasingly agitated as he tried to shake the tiny girl off his arm to no avail. He started inching towards the water. “I’m warning you kid, lemme go or I swear I’ll chuck you in the fu-”

            “NONONONONO, I’LL GIVE YOU 20 DOLLARS! I’LL GIVE YOU 20 DOLLARS!”

            At that he stopped and stared. Suha released her death grip on his arm to reach into her diary and pull out a folded 20 dollar bill with an earnest look set on her face. Mak hesitated. Money had been tight in the family for a while, and he didn’t even have any money for himself. And if the offer was coming from this little kid, he contemplated, how hard could this favor be?

            “…Let’s hear this favor.”

            Suha’s face lit up again, her blue eyes shining. “Okay, come over here!” she beamed as she dragged him over to the very spot where he had found her diary.

            “Now be careful Mister, the water’s really deep in this river. See all these rocks?” she asked, pointing at the smaller one by the edge of the water. He nodded slowly. “I need to learn how to skip one on the water. Can you teach me?”

            Ah. He felt that twinge in his chest again as her request came to light. Yes, he knew how to skip rocks. He was rather good at doing it (hey). He was the best in his whole family. But the last time he did was with his (Hey) mother and that was before-

           “Hey! Hey, Mr. Mak, can ya or can ya not skip them? I’m on a schedule I need ‘ta meet today.” Mak snapped back to reality, face-to-face with Suha standing on one of the larger rocks, with one hand on her hip and the other waving the 20 dollar bill in his face. He grimaced and sucked in the feeling in his chest.

           “’Course I can. Who can’t?” he smirked and felt just a bit better seeing the girl’s face turn cherry red at those words.

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           “Can I ask a question?”

           “No.”

           The little girl rolled her eyes in exasperation at the bluntness of his response.

           “...I’ll answer your question~. I know there’s something you want to ask meee,” she grinned as she slurred the last word, tossing another rock into the river, watching it, instead, sink quickly in the light of the setting sun.

           To which she wasn’t wrong about, despite Mak’s general annoyance to admitting it. Something had been bothering him since she showed up, but there was something else now. They had been skipping rocks for almost 15 minutes now, yet Suha had an air of anxiety and urgency around her, almost like she was trying to get away from something.

           “Ask away, Mr. Mak,” she grinned.

           “…what is this schedule you’re running on that requires you to know how to skip rocks?” he asked suspiciously, turning to skip another rock perfectly. He watched it skid across the water seven times before it sank and realized how quiet it had gotten. He turned to look at Suha, only to see her staring across the water in the direction of Queens. And for a second, he thought that she looked very small and lonely doing so, standing in her baggy clothes and rainboots.

           And for another second, he felt a little concerned about where this little girl was setting her sights at. “Suha, are you running away from home?” She continued to stare out across the river. He started to pick up some new rocks when he heard her, softly.

           “You wouldn’t like it either.”

           Mak glanced up to see her picking up more stones as well and begin to chuck them in the lake with force not needed for skipping rocks.

           *spelunk*  “They bring bodies all the time, just to bury and forget about them.” *spelunk*  “Lonely new babies and kids are coming all the time, just to abandon and forget about them.” *spelunk*  “Bad people that they say need fixing are sent all the time, just to hurt and forget about them.” *spelunk*  “There’s people that need help because they can’t help themselves coming all the time, just to lock up and forget about them.” *spelunk*  “The buildings are falling apart with too many people stuffed in them and no one comes to take care of the problem. *spelunk* No one comes to take care of us.” *spelunk*

           With no more rocks left to throw, Mak noticed Suha wasn’t crying, but was wheezing heavily after all she had thrown, as she looked at the river.

           “We went because my ma and I got really sick a long time ago. My ma wouldn’t let my pa come with us. They both hoped that she would get better and maybe we could both go home. I got better. She didn’t. So, I was stuck there with no ma or pa, in a run-down place to call ‘home’ for so long. I was luckier that some of the other kids. They made some of them work to the bone. Some of them were hurt if they did anything people didn’t like.”

           She suddenly pointed left towards the bridge upstream. “But then I heard that they were making a bridge across this very river. And even if it’s just for trains, I knew it was my chance. The last thing my ma gave me before they took her away was this diary.” She shook as she took it out of her pocket, walking towards Mak. She opened the book to the center and handed him the Queens postcard. He gingerly took it, flipping it to the other side. In neat writing, was a short yet beautiful poem about love.

           “It was the last thing my pa gave my ma before we left. He said he would wait for us at home, in the heart of Queens. And he promised me that he’d spend the whole day teaching me to skip rocks and celebrate once we get back. So, I gotta be ready. I gotta get ready now and look toward what’s to come, like ma said. And now that the bridge is done, when the trains aren’t active, I’m gonna cross and go home.”

           Even though her short, dark hair was covering most of her face, he could tell she still wasn’t crying, but she wasn’t looking at Mak. And Mak…didn’t know what to say to the 10-year-old who refused to cry. Some of those words had confused him even more, but he knew what she felt at her core. So, he decided that was a good enough place to start.

           “My mother died a while ago too, after getting really sick. She was the happy one in our family, so when she left, so did a lot of other things. We stopped skipping rocks, we stopped going out together as much, and we stopped coming to this park because it was where she met my father. We only came today because…it’s been a year since she passed, and my father wanted to come back to her favorite place. Everyone else seems to have handled it well, but I didn’t even want to come here. I don’t think I accepted it yet. But I’m glad I came. Otherwise, you’d be sad on your own.” He ended hesitantly, looking to see how Suha would react…

           …and jumped when she flew into him, shaking as she hugged him tighter.

           He found himself embracing her as well.

           “It’s okay to be sad about remembering the past.”

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           After giving him the 20 dollars and thanking him for both the rocks and his words, she looked at him with wide blue eyes, still swollen from her tears. “Look towards that better future,” was the last thing Suha had said before she left towards the bridge upstream.

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            The oddest part was that Mak didn’t realize he was talking to a little girl that had died years ago until much later. Just after he had bid farewell to Suha, he heard his family’s voices calling out for him and realized just how long he had spent teaching Suha to skip rocks. He was primarily scolded by his older brother (“MAKAS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, WE’VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU”), knowing full well he messed up if his full first name was being used. But maybe it was those last words that Suha said that led him to embrace his brother, little twin sisters, and his father. And maybe it was because of that that he was able to enjoy the rest of their time on the island, walking so far as to Icahn Stadium to see its beauty in the nighttime.

            Of course, that did not mean that Mak was happy when they realized that one of the twins had left their water bottle at Scylla Playground, and they had to walk all the way back to retrieve it. By then, his father and brother had decided to take a rest while his sisters went to play in the park once again. He was about to sit down when he remembered that the bridge Suha was going to cross was close by. After letting his father know, he headed down towards the river until he could see the shore and the bridge that loomed above him and stared in awe, hoping she had made it and found her father on the other side. He was about to head back when he heard voices heading towards him on the shoreline.

            “…wish that they could put up some caution signs around the area. There’s trains running above and who know what could happen by accident!”

            “There’s no way something that big could happen ma. You worry too much~.”

            “I actually agree with your ma on this one. You know, a little girl once tried to cross Hell Gate Bridge when it was first built while the train wasn’t active, only to fall and drown when the vibrations from an opposite train shook the bridge.”

            “…Wow, that’s horrible pa…and who knows why she was trying to cross?”

           “At least we know that our little girl is here with us, right Mirai?”

           “Of course, ma!” Mirai replied out loud, as the 13-year-old girl walked hand-in-hand with her parents, all with the same sparkling blue eyes and dark hair.

            And suddenly, all the pieces that didn't make sense fell into place. Where Suha's "home" was, why she didn't recognize Triborough Bridge, why her plan to return to her father depended solely on Hell Gate Bridge. And from that, knowing that she failed, yet received something much better, Mak felt a sorrowful, yet sweet peace as he turned to return to the future he had with his family.

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Meaning Behind Names:

Makas (Mak) – hope

Mirai – the future

Suha – forgotten/overlooked